Fractional Recall

Vikas had a splitting headache. He felt disoriented and shook his head from left to right. He got up gingerly and sat up on the bed. He looked around and saw a nurse sitting at a distance. He wondered what was going on. He thought he had been discharged from the hospital already. He walked towards the door and then right out of Gobs Hospital. He had to get home. He checked his purse and found thankfully that his wallet was intact. He waved to a taxi and got off at his house in Mulund, Mumbai.

He walked up to his flat and rang the bell. The door opened and he smiled with relief as his wife Madhuri opened the door.

“Hey, I am back” Vikas said and sat down on the sofa exhausted. He looked up at Madhuri and said, “I have a very bad headache. In fact it is so bad, that I am not able to even focus properly. Can you get me a Crocin? I think I will sleep early today.”

Madhuri looked at him with a confused expression, a sense of fear on her face. She said “What do you want?"

“A crocin. Crocin pain relief is better if available” replied Vikas.

Madhuri looked at him, and asked with her voice raised “But who are you?”

Vikas looked at her shocked “What do you mean. This is no time for jokes”. He smiled weakly and said “I really do have a bad headache”.

Madhuri repeated, this time her voice was raised even louder “Who are you?”

Vikas looked at her stunned and said “Madhuri, It's me Vikas. What's wrong with you?”

“You are Vikas?”, Madhuri asked inching closer to the door.

Vikas got up from the sofa and walked up to his wife. He reached for her shoulder.

“Don't touch me”, Madhuri said sharply. She shouted next “Help, help”.

The commotion brought the neighbours – Sanjay Jain and Neeta Jain came out of their flats. Madhuri pointed to Vikas and said “I don't know what this man wants. He has just barged into my house. He says he is Vikas”.

As Sanjay and Neeta stared at him, Vikas exclaimed “Sanjay, Neeta – don't know what is wrong with Madhuri?” Then he looked at them and smiled “Ah, I get it. An April fool's joke?” he exclaimed.

Sanjay looked at him and said, “Who are you? How do you know our names? I don't think we have met before”.

Vikas by now was confused. He tried to gather himself. Nothing was making sense – he found himself again at the same hospital he was discharged from a little while back and now his wife and neighbours were saying they did not know him. What was going on?

Neeta whispered to her husband “And he looks so well dressed and decent. Who would think...”

Sanjay brought out his cell phone and shouted at Vikas “I am calling the police, don’t try to flee”.

Vikas looked at him and asked surprised “Why would I flee from my own house? “

As Sanjay was talking on his phone, Madhuri heard footsteps and looked up. She exclaimed “Oh Vikas” and ran out hugging the new entrant to the house.

The man who knew himself as Vikas stared at them. He suddenly felt himself being dragged and bundled into a Sumo. His headache was as bad as ever, and he closed his eyes, trying to shut himself from the excited screams and yells around him.

He looked up only when he felt a hand grab him. He was half dragged, and he half walked into the police station.

Sanjay spoke up as he saw a police officer. “Inspector Ashok Dave?” he asked. As the officer nodded, he continued, “I spoke to you just a while back”.

“Sure, please sit” said Inspector Ashok Dave.

He quickly frisked the man who called himself Vikas and seated him in a chair, asking two constables to hold him.

Sanjay continued to speak “This man barged into our neighbours house. At that time Madhuri was alone. Vikas came just as I was calling you”.

“Ok” Inspector Ashok looked at Madhuri and asked, “What did he want from you?”

Madhuri looked confused. She said “He just came into the house, sat on the sofa and asked for a crocin”.

“What?” Inspector Ashok asked next “Did he threaten you in any way? Did he ask you to hand over your money or valuables?”

“No. He just said he had a headache and asked for a crocin” said Madhuri looking very confused herself.

Inspector Ashok looked at the man who called himself Vikas next and asked sternly “What did you want? Why did you barge into their house?”

The man who called himself Vikas looked disturbed. In a halting and choked voice he said “Sir believe me. I can't understand what is going on. I found myself sometime back at the same hospital I was discharged from. I returned home and now my wife and neighbours are saying I am not Vikas”. A tear escaped his eye and slid down his cheek.

“What, you think you are her husband?” exclaimed Inspector Ashok and slapped him across the face. Now the man who called himself Vikas started sobbing, holding his head and bending low.

With tears streaming down his face, he said “Believe me. I am Vikas. I work with Astro Financials. I was hospitalised for a brain tumor surgery last week and got discharged after the operation. Today, I suddenly found myself at the same hospital I was discharged from. I had a bad headache. I came  home and now I find my wife and neighbours denying that I am Vikas”. He broke down completely, unable to speak further.

Madhuri, Vikas, Sanjay and Neeta looked at each other. Vikas looked at the man who called himself Vikas and asked “How do you know all this about my operation?”

Inspector Ashok looked at the man who called himself Vikas and said “Answer my questions to the point. What is your age?”

“31” replied the man.

“Company? Designation? Job profile”

“Astro Financials. Sr Equities research analyst. I joined about 6 months back” replied the man.

“Phone number office & mobile?”

The man reeled off two sets of numbers.

The four people sitting close to him gasped. Madhuri shrieked “How does he know all this? What is he up to?”

Just then a constable whispered something in Inspector Ashok's ears. Inspector Ashok excused himself and moved to a distance, staring at a page in his hand. He made a couple of calls and returned to his seat.

He reached forward and put the paper in his hand in front of the man who called himself Vikas. Inspector Ashok spoke up “See this fax? It is from the Thane police station. Do you recognize the photo?”

The man who called himself Vikas looked at a photo of himself. He nodded surprised “It's me”.

Inspector Ashok said softly “You are reported missing from Gobs hospital. And your name is not Vikas, it is Sridhar. I have already spoken to the hospital. Your wife is on her way here. Sir, I think you are sick. You need to consult a good doctor”.

“Sridhar, Sridhar.....I own Elegant Decor, Furniture Shop” said the man who called himself Vikas suddenly.

They all turned as they heard footsteps and watched a woman enter the police station. The man who called himself Vikas looked at her and recognition crossed his face.

“Revathi” he exclaimed “So nice to see you after so long”.

“Ha”, said Inspector Ashok. “Looks like you are returning to normal. So you do recognise your wife”.

The man who called himself Vikas looked confused. He thought carefully and said, “Yes, Revathi was my wife. But Madhuri is my wife now. I went with Madhuri to Juhu just the past weekend”.

Inspector Ashok got up from his seat and gestured to Revathi to step aside. He told her all that had happened before Revathi came to the police station.

Revathi listened stunned. “But why would he think he is someone else?” she exclaimed.

“I think you need to take him to a good doctor at the earliest”, said Inspector Ashok.

“Ok, in fact he was in Gobs hospital for a while after he had a small auto accident and was bleeding. I will check with the doctor if this could be related”, said Revathi.

She took Sridhar gently by his hand and said, “Let us go to Dr Vinay at Gobs hospital again. All this confusion may be the result of the accident you had. You did suffer a mild blow to your head as well though it was primarily your leg which was fractured”.

Vikas, Madhuri, Sanjay and Neeta also got up. They excused themselves with Inspector Ashok and set off for home.

Madhuri spoke “Even assuming the man is ill. How could be know so many details of us?”.

“I cannot explain it either” said Vikas confused. “Anyway, this episode is probably over for good”.

The man who was now identified as Sridhar, and Revathi landed up at Gobs hospital. It was already past 8 pm. Thankfully they were able to catch Dr Vinay in his room. They narrated the entire incident to him.

Dr Vinay said “Well, it is like this. Mr Vikas was also admitted to this hospital and in fact was in the next room to you, Mr Sridhar. I operated on him for a tumor. In your case I examined you for any head injury and found there was none. But I remember mentioning about Mr Vikas to you once when you asked who was in the next room. You have been tired and groggy with all the medication and your body has taken a knock due to the accident. So this is a temporary hallucination and there is nothing to worry about”.

Sridhar said “Ok. Let us say I am Sridhar and not Vikas. But I remember a number of details. How could I know his address? Names of his wife and neighbours. His contact numbers..How is that possible?”

Dr Vinay “Some of the details would have been overheard at some time by you and some of it may be imagined”.

“Ok” said Sridhar.

Revathi led the way to their home in Thane. As they entered their flat, Revathi asked, the concern showing in her voice “Are you feeling better now?”.

“Yes, the headache is almost gone” said Sridhar. He continued “Revathi, I do recognise this flat, but I cannot explain it. I don't remember having been here for quite some time and even having seen you for weeks actually..”

Revathi bit her lips “Sridhar, take it easy. We have seen each other even this morning in the hospital”.

Then she suddenly said, “Open your purse and check if my photo is there”. Sridhar opened the purse and found Revathi's smiling face looking at him from a photo.

“See. Are you convinced now? Ok, it is late. Let us have our dinner and go to sleep” said Revathi.

They had a quick and light dinner and retired to bed. As Sridhar got up from bed in the morning, he saw Revathi walking up to the bed. He held her hand and then hugged her.

“Are you feeling ok now ?” asked Revathi concerned.

“Yes, I am ok” said Sridhar quickly. “You may have to help me with some things. I think as a result of the treatment and accident, I am having some memory problems. But I am feeling so much better now.”

Tears welled up in Revathi's eyes “I was so worried. I am so happy now”, she said.

“Thanks for your support. Where would I be without that?” said Sridhar smiling at her.

Revathi left the room after a while to go into the kitchen. Sridhar thought to himself 'My mental confusion is no better today than it was yesterday. Why do I still feel I am also Vikas? What is going on? Maybe I have some kind of multiple personality disorder. But then a woman who prays for my sake since early in the morning could only be my wife. I owe it to her to not alarm her any further with this talk of Vikas. Some mysteries will always remain unsolved. I will pick up the missing pieces of my memory and Revathi will stand by me. God – I look to you for support'.

Dr Vinay had been restless and excited. It had been difficult to sleep. Despite the risk, it had been wonderful to see years of hard work at research bear fruit. He had been working on retrieval, digitisation and reintroduction of human memory. He had worked alone through the years, keeping his work entirely confidential. Some further work was needed but once done, he would announce this to the world, he was certain he would win the nobel prize.

He had obtained memory extracts from several patients. He had then digitised them and was now trying to segregate the extracts by time periods. He had digitised the extracts and had made two vials of Vikas memories of the past 3 months and another of the past 1 year. He had made two different ones in case the first one with a 3-month extract proved ineffective. He had labelled the vials as sedatives so as not to arouse suspicion in his office. He had then asked a nurse to administer a sedative injection to Sridhar – the one with a 3-month memory extract. Since it was only a 3-month timeframe being injected, he was certain over time this would be superceded by Sridhar's real memories with no long-term implications for him.

As he sat in his office, he found he could not focus. He was excited at what had happened. He knew there was a risk but was also sure it would not lead to him. His excitement growing he found himself to be a little breathless. He worried if he was having some kind of an attack. He found it difficult to speak and reached for the door. The nurse, who worked for him, saw him and hurried over to him.

She asked in a worried tone “Doctor, what is wrong?”

Dr Vinay spoke with a lot of effort “Attack..I think it is an attack” he spoke haltingly. At this point he fainted and fell forward.

The nurse brought another doctor over who quickly examined him. The doctor spoke “Not as serious. Seems more of a panic attack. Get a sedative”.

The nurse reached over for the vial marked sedative in Dr Vinay's room and quickly injected him with it.

Around 4 pm that day, there was a knock on the door of Vikas and Madhuri's apartment in Mulund. Madhuri was alone at home and opened the door. The man looked at Madhuri and spoke up “ Madhuri, why did you come home leaving me alone at the hospital?”. He then walked in and slumped on the sofa.

Madhuri followed him in and asked in a confused voice “Dr Vinay, what do you mean?”

“Dr Vinay?” said the man looking perplexed “ Madhuri, what are you talking about?”

Madhuri's hands covered her mouth and with an effort she asked “Who are you then?”

The man looked up and said “ Madhuri, get hold of yourself. It is me, Vikas”!

Madhuri screamed.

Playing with knots

“C’mon, time to leave. It is a Friday man!” said Rishi coming up to Pankaj and me.

“Valentine’s day should be on Mar 1 and not on Feb 14,” said Pankaj with a dreamy look in his eyes, not acknowledging if he had heard Rishi.

“I also think you have a point” said Rishi promptly “It does make sense to have it after you have got your salary!”

“You know what I am talking about!” said Pankaj with a frown. “That was the day on which…” he appeared to now choke with emotion.

It was quite obvious to Rishi and me what Pankaj was talking about. I went back in time – precisely to 1^st March of last year.

I was clearing my desk, and preparing to leave for the day. Me, Rishi and Pankaj travelled to work together. Rishi was already waving impatiently to us. Pankaj sat near the window looking out with a forlorn look on his face. I tapped him on the shoulder signalling for him to move.

He looked up at me and returned to inspecting the scene outside the window. I sighed – Pankaj was in one of his moods. I signalled to Rishi to come over – we were not leaving immediately.

As Rishi came over, he said “Hey, what’s up?” I pointed to Pankaj who continued to stare outside the window. He suddenly turned towards us and said in a voice loaded with emotion “What meaning will life have if she does not accept?”

“Who? What are you talking about” I asked though I knew exactly what, as this was turning out to be an everyday conversation these days.

“Shilpa” said Pankaj. “I hope she agrees to marry me”

“But I thought she has already said no” said Rishi.

“She has not!” said Pankaj irritatedly.

“But you said she returned the necklace you gave her” said Rishi.

“That does not mean she said no,” said Pankaj hotly.

“Why else would she return the necklace?” persisted Rishi.

“She could have been conscious of what others would say or she might have also thought it was too expensive.  There could be so many reasons!” said Pankaj.

“Maybe she didn’t like the design” I offered more as a way to end the debate and head for home.

“Ok, but then she would have told you the reason, had that been the case. She could have said - I don’t want the necklace but I like you or something like that” said Rishi.

“Rishi, you simply don’t understand the way women think. It is not as simple,” declared Pankaj in desperation, clinging to hope.

“I think you would be taking a big risk in persisting despite the necklace episode” said Rishi solemnly “It could be construed as harassment”.

“What? Are you serious?” exclaimed Pankaj, looking concerned. He turned to me for solace.

“You can always talk about your feelings more openly and give it a shot, I suppose” I said doubtfully.

At this point unexpectedly we turned hearing footsteps, and Shilpa was walking towards us. “Hey folks, what are you talking about?”

“We were talking about Pankaj’s life,” said Rishi.

Pankaj suddenly pretended to develop a coughing fit, bending forward to hide his face, which had sported a decidedly guilty look.

“What about his life?” asked Shilpa puzzled.

“Oh, this and that” I said.

“Hmmm” she said, looking sternly at Pankaj. “Rishi – we need to talk about all this,” said Shilpa drawing Rishi away.

Pankaj suddenly recovered from his coughing fit and looked up. Shilpa was speaking something animatedly and Rishi was nodding his head. After a few minutes, she waved Rishi away and started speaking on the phone. Rishi joined us and looked grimly at Pankaj “We are in trouble. She says none of this is acceptable. In fact she wants us all to accompany her to her house. She has apparently told her parents about what you have been up to”.

“What?” said Pankaj horrified, his face turning a distinct shade of red. “But why did she have to tell you that? She could have spoken to me alone on this instead of drawing you also in this”.

“You had embarked on a coughing fit,” Rishi pointed out. “And who knows, maybe she does not want to talk to you”

“I think you should apologize and close the matter,” I suggested to Pankaj.

Shilpa walked up to us and said, “Let us go”. Pankaj’s face continued to remain red and his eyes now had a wild look.

“Pankaj is willing to apologize, let us close the matter,” I said.

“After all that has happened, this cannot be settled that easily”, said Shilpa. “Let us go – my parents retire to bed early. They are waiting.”

“Ok, Pankaj – I think you have to go” I said quickly.

“All of you come,” said Shilpa. “Since you were all talking about Pankaj’s life with such seriousness, you should come as well”

I was trying to think of an excuse when Rishi said, “Ok, let us get this over with quickly.”

We travelled in two batches to Shilpa’s house - one batch being the three of us and batch 2 being only Shilpa. We were greeted at the door by Shilpa’s dad Mr Kumar. One look at him told me this was going to be more difficult than I thought – he had a grim look on his face. As we took our seat, her mother joined us as well.

“There has been a misunderstanding, and we can easily resolve this matter” I said.

“Misunderstanding?” Shilpa’s dad appeared confused and looked at her.

“No, there is no misunderstanding, Dad. I am very clear in my mind”, said Shilpa.

“Ok, good. This is obviously an important matter and in fact I wanted to talk to your parents but Shilpa felt that would only delay things,” said Mr Kumar.

Pankaj mumbled something about his parents being in Varanasi, and their not being needed for this.

“Uncle, does your house always have so many mosquitoes?” asked Rishi.

Shilpa glared at Rishi, while a startled Mr Kumar went to get a mosquito coil and set it to burn.

“Now, let us get down to business,” said Mr Kumar.

“Well, it is like this – Pankaj is definitely a funny guy. But he means well, please understand and appreciate that,” said Rishi.

“Yes, he definitely wants to move on now after all that has happened” I continued and looked at Pankaj.

“Yes, yes,” said Pankaj taking the cue, but still remaining largely tongue-tied.

“Ok, go on,” said Mr Kumar.

“Shilpa, can you sing?” asked Rishi next suddenly.

“No, I can’t” snapped Shilpa.

“What about your cooking?” asked Rishi next.

“Only passable, and may I ask why you should care?” asked Shilpa.

“The girl we met the other day could both cook and sing well, isn’t it, Pankaj?” asked Rishi in a loud whisper.

“What other girl?” said Pankaj weakly and then again developed a coughing fit and bent over.

I nudged Rishi – I was now worried that due to Rishi’s wisecracks, we were going to end up in worse trouble than originally anticipated.

As if in response to my nudge, Rishi looked at Pankaj and said “Maybe that can be overlooked?”

Shilpa stood up at this point and disappeared into the house. There was a pause and then I asked for water, hoping amnesia would strike and the recent conversation would be forgotten. Shilpa’s mother arrived with some cups of tea, and Shilpa also returned and sat down.

As we sipped the tea, Rishi spoke up “Very good tea, Shilpa did you make it?”

“No, I did,” said her mother looking surprised.

“Ok, let us get to the point now” Mr Kumar said, “Look, in many ways I am an old fashioned man”. He stood up and took a stroll to the window and back.

He looked at Pankaj and said, “When I heard about this from Shilpa, I had my worries.  However, our family and Rishi’s have been friends for a long time. And when he told me that he thought you would be a perfect match for my daughter, I had no further worries or questions. Rishi tells me your parents already know about this, but you must let me know when we can meet them to take this further and make the necessary arrangements for the wedding”.

So the entire event was staged! As we left Shilpa’s house, Rishi looked at Pankaj and teased, “I wanted this to happen when I am still young! If it were left to you, I am not sure if that would have been possible”. Yes – Mar 1 was a memorable day for Pankaj! 

A Call to the Edge

“I think this is a conspiracy at work,” whispered the man in the seat next to me on the bus.

Startled I turned to understand what he was saying.

He repeated, “It is a conspiracy!”

“What conspiracy? I am not sure I understand what you are saying,” I said looking at him.

“These floods. The sea has entered the city somehow!” he said.                

“It is these heavy rains,” I said wondering if he had had too much to drink.

“No it is not just that” he continued. “How long have you been in Mumbai? It always rains heavily on and off. But have you seen anything like this?” he asked.

“Yes, you are right – as a matter of fact I have not seen anything like this. But I understand it has been one of the heaviest rains ever” I said.

“Pah!” he continued. “Look at the water below – it is flowing like a river in spate on the main roads, highways, everywhere! I can understand vertical accumulation of water but see what is happening. I am telling you it is the sea!”

                    

At this point I had to admit that I was challenged. This man was right – I had never seen rivers of water gushing around the city even in the heaviest of rains. In fact, I had never seen anything even remotely like this. And yet, the conspiracy theory was ridiculous. I was thinking of a logical response, when there was a sudden scream.

Everyone turned in the direction of the scream. A lady pointed to the water and asked, “Is that someone in the water?” Most people turned pale, staring at the water and unsure on what to do. The crowd inched forward hesitantly. There was a burst of lightning and as the light fell on the water, it was clear it was a bag floating in the water. There was a sigh of relief and a nervous laugh, all around.

At this time, evidently irritated by my lack of support for his conspiracy theory, the man seated next to me, rose from his seat and sat down in the seat in front of me. He sat next to another gentleman engaging him in conversation immediately about his conspiracy theory. The other man listened to him intently and then retorted assertively “You are wrong! We are being punished! In fact a local astrologer has forecast this – do you know that”? They continued to argue their respective positions for some time –

“An entire city would not be punished for the deeds of a few!”

“We have ignored the laws of nature for too long and this was bound to happen!”

“I have heard from a few good sources – this is indeed a conspiracy. We have to find out how the sea was let into the city and push it back if we can!”

“The astrologer who has forecast this says it is a warning to mend our ways. He has mentioned 26/07 explicitly!”

Finally after some more argument, a stalemate ensued – both sticking to their positions, and having little more to say.

After a while, a group of fireman entered the bus. The leader of the group made an announcement “As you can see, the rains are continuing. We are monitoring the water level around this area and as of now there is no cause for concern on this bus. It is safest for you people to stay on the bus rather than moving around. We will be around this area and you have nothing to fear. We have also tried to make some arrangements with local residents who have been most eager to help. At the moment we can accommodate around 15 people in the building adjacent, till tomorrow morning. First preference would be given to women and children. Those who wish to avail this can follow us”. Around 5 people stood up ready to follow the firemen out of the bus.

“No reason to panic” the fireman continued. “Sing some songs, maybe”!

Everyone laughed nervously. The firemen then left with the group of women and children who had chosen to stay at the adjacent building.

The rain was showing no sign of abating and the water was now lapping the footboard of the bus. Though advised to the contrary, it was clearly preying on everybody’s mind on what would happen if it continued raining. There were already rumors of several people dying in the floods in the city. However, the professional approach of the firemen had no doubt soothed many nerves, and the tense atmosphere, which had prevailed till then, did lighten.

An old man entered the bus. He was wet and shivering. He stood next to my seat and asked, “Is it Ok if I sit down next to you?”

“Sure, please do” I said wondering why he should ask. It was probably because he was drenched.

He sat down, clearly nervous. He continued to fidget, at times rubbing his eyes, and at other times looking around quickly. I had worries of my own, my phone being non-operational and unable to contact family. I prayed that no one else in my family had left home on this day. However, seeing his continued unease, I asked him what his problem was.

“My granddaughter is out at school. I was going to fetch her. But I cannot make it past this point. She must be so worried” he said.

“I am sure she is fine” I said to reassure him “Under the circumstances it is best she stays at the school. I am sure the school authorities will not let the students out anywhere in this rain”

“Yes, I guess so” he sighed “How about you? Have you called home?”

“Well, I haven’t been able to call home. Phone not working” I said

“Here, take mine and call,” he offered kindly. “Mine is one of the few in the city which works I understand!”

“Thanks a lot!” I said and called home with his phone. My father was out in the rains. All others including mother, wife and kid were at home. I thanked him once again when I was done.

He gazed out after a while and his eyes opened wide with concern. I followed his line of sight. Perched on top of a ledge precariously around 25 feet away was a dog. Clearly frightened, it was yelping in fright knowing it was very close to being dragged into the water.

“We must do something”, the old man exclaimed loudly. A few more heads turned towards him.

“Are you mad?” one man asked. “The dog is far away. We have had human beings dying and here you are wanting us to risk our lives for saving a dog”

“No, no, no, no, no!” the old man replied. Suddenly he said with tears in his eyes “Oh God! You don’t understand! It is a test!”

He suddenly leapt from his seat and ran out of the bus, wading through water, which was now waist high. Alarmed, me and 3 other people followed him quickly. It was dark and walking along water rushing downstream was a frightening prospect. We reached the dog in a few minutes. One man lifted the dog and we asked the watchman of a building close by if we could leave the dog inside the building and he agreed. We walked alongside the old man slowly. No one spoke till we returned to the bus.

The old man spoke up, his eyes moist “I am sorry. I never meant to inconvenience all of you.”

“No” we replied together “You were right to do what you did”.

As I sat down on the seat again, I reflected that the old man was right – it was a test, and if wasn’t for him so many people including me would have failed. I wondered how many times a day we are tested?

I turned to the old man and said smiling “You must message me once you meet your granddaughter tomorrow”.

“And you when you meet your father” he said promptly.

The next morning I received a message and sent one back.

Focal Point

“He specifically asked for the three of you to be here” said Tarun’s wife Payal looking very disturbed.

“What is wrong, Is he very ill?” I asked her concerned. I had just entered the hospital with Rishi and Meera. The four of us worked together at Medusa publishing and came over to Khanna hospital after a call from Payal. She met us outside Tarun’s hospital room. It was a Friday afternoon.

Payal replied, “Actually, as per the doctors he has recovered from his knee dislocation, and in fact he is due to be discharged this evening. At around 2 am he woke me up, and seemed distraught. He was not very coherent and told me it was a bad dream and went back to sleep. He woke up again at around 4:30 am and said – I saw her face, and she said - Focal Point. He was very agitated and mumbled – What can be the message? He next asked me to call the three of you. We did not go back to sleep after that”

“Focal Point? What can that mean?” Meera said “Did he say anything further after that?”

“I did ask him about it” said Payal. “He was quite calm after he was awake. He said that he had seen a dream in which the three of you also figured, and it was probably related to an incident from long back”.

“Let’s meet him….” Rishi said. And gesturing to Payal, he said “Tarun was always a funny guy. So don’t worry. Let us find out what this is all about!”

I wondered what incident Tarun could be referring to but could not come up with anything to explain this. Tarun was awake and reading a book. On seeing us, he smiled feebly. As he kept the book down, I noticed it was “Crime & Punishment” by Fyodor Dostoevsky. It was ironic since looking at Tarun’s face; one would think he was enacting the role of the central character Raskolnikov from “Crime and Punishment”. His face was creased with worry and he was very restless. Only there was no crime!

“What’s up” said Meera and in an effort to lighten the mood said cheerily “Have you seen a ghost or something?”

“I have seen ghosts myself a few times” quipped Rishi immediately, and continued, “It has no such effect. In fact seeing ghosts used to cheer me up! Hey, Tarun. What’s up, man?”

Tarun said, “I have to tell you something. Maybe it is nothing, but it is difficult to explain”. He now looked pensive and continued “Before I tell you about my dream, I want you to recall that rainy night around 7 years back when the four of us saw that young lady”

“Oh, that!” Rishi guffawed with laughter “You mean the 11^th time you fell in love and danced in the rain! I forget the name of the girl though”. Rishi turned to Payal still laughing “I didn’t realize he has actually told you all this! Our friend Tarun was a big big big ladies’ man! The envy of the rest of the gang!”

Tarun looked at Rishi, his mouth open. “No Rishi, look…” he started.

At the start of this wild tale, I was a little concerned that Payal might actually believe Rishi’s wisecracks. But there was little chance now, as describing Tarun as a ladies’ man made the tale too far fetched to be taken for fact.

Meera looked at Rishi and said smiling, “Come on, let Tarun finish. We can then tell Payal all about his escapades!”

Tarun looked relieved and said “I am talking about the time we had gone to Ooty on a business trip 7 years and lost our way in the rain. Do you remember?”

I now understood the incident he was referring to, and tried to mentally piece together all the events of that day. We were returning after meeting a business contact when we wandered off in search of our guesthouse after alighting from the bus. We walked here and there till we were totally lost among a vast stretch of trees with not a soul in sight. It also started raining steadily after a while. We noticed a cottage in the distance and walked over. The door was slightly ajar and swung open as we knocked on it. Our sight fell on a young lady sitting on the floor with her eyes closed. It looked like she was deep in meditation. So as not to disturb her, we stood without speaking. It was another 20 minutes, before she opened her eyes.

She stood up and gestured to us to come in. “Please sit” she said, “I am Chitra. Please relax for a few minutes, I will then tell you how you can get to your place”.

“How do you know we are lost?” asked Tarun startled.

“Well, people get lost here all the time” said Chitra dismissively.

“We were watching you for a while” Meera confessed. “You were deep in meditation. Do you do it regularly?” she asked.

“Well, yes. I meditate everyday. I find peace with it, and I learn so many new things everyday”

“Interesting” I said. “Though, I am not entirely sure what you mean by learning new things everyday?”

“I discover new things about myself and others everyday. The fact that we are manifestations of one source offers such exciting possibilities for understanding, communication and collaboration.” Chitra said.

“Good God!” exclaimed Rishi “One would think this is a gathering of 80 year olds chatting”

Meera glared at Rishi. She spoke “What you are saying is interesting. We read this all the time but it is nice to see you actually practice it”

“I definitely want to share my experiences with many others at some point of time in the future” Chitra said.

Rishi spoke up again “And, do you do anything else besides this?”

“Oh, I am in final year Masters of Arts” Chitra laughed. “My parents are away to meet some relatives and will be back soon”

“Let me make you some tea” she said. Meera joined her and they returned after a few minutes with cups of tea. The tea was good.

After exchanging some pleasantries, I indicated we had to make a move. We got directions to our guesthouse and left her cottage.

“How did she trust us and let us in without any suspicion. We could very well have been burglars!” Tarun said.

“That is true,” said Meera “She was so sure of what she was doing”

“Well – the presence of a dashing young man like me obviously reassured her,” said Rishi immediately.

As I reconstructed the above episode, I sat scratching my head wondering how this could be related to Tarun’s dream. Meera was thoughtful as well. Rishi was pretending to chase a fly, but it was clear he was curious too.

“Please go on” said Rishi to Tarun, “All of us recall that incident”.

“I had this dream in the middle of the night” began Tarun. “It is difficult to describe but it was as if there was a blue light which was slowly dispersing, expanding and I saw what looked like spinning balls. I then saw the face of the young lady – Chitra, whom we saw so many years back. I heard her say: The essence of my experiences, Focal Point. At this point I woke up – it was around 12:30 am in the night. I tried to shut my eyes and sleep again. I think I must have dozed off in a few minutes. The same sequence occurred again and I woke up. This time I tried to tell Payal what I had seen but it was difficult. Remarkably, I saw the same dream a third time after falling asleep again. This time I heard the young lady Chitra add softly – Focal Point, Please do your part. I woke up then with Payal, and could not sleep after that”.

All of us sat thoughtfully as we heard Tarun’s narrative. He continued, “I thought I should call you. I am not sure what to make of this. Maybe it is nothing….”

Meera said, “The way we remember things can be strange. I myself have recalled some episodes after years. Chitra did mention sharing her experiences, so that fits with a simple memory recall. I suppose the rest is the brain putting together a dream. Of course, the phrase Focal Point is curious”.

“When you were describing the vision, it immediately struck me as being a description of the big bang leading to the creation of the universe” I said thoughtfully.

“The most striking thing in the whole dream is at the point where you say she mentions - Please do your part. What can that mean, if anything” said Rishi, looking serious for a change.

“Don’t tell me you believe in mystic experiences, Mr Old Man”, I chided Rishi.

“I believe there may actually be a message here”, said Rishi looking serious.

“But we don’t understand what it can mean” Meera exclaimed. “What can Focal Point mean? Also what part do we play?”

“The vision Tarun describes can probably be labeled as Focal Point, as everything seems to start from and dissolve to a point. What can all this mean to us though?” I said.

“Maybe, it is a call to us to watch out. I think events may just play themselves out….” said Rishi. This was a new side to Rishi we were all seeing.

I stood up and walked towards the window. I took a heavy breath and found that Payal had walked up besides me. She spoke softly ““Do you think we can ask the doctor about this?”

“Yes, why not?” I said. “Let us do it now”.

The two of us went in search of Dr Sharma. He was sitting in his room, and thankfully was alone. We narrated in brief about Tarun having a dream, which was connected to an event 7 years back. He listened carefully and then said, “During the operation and after, Tarun had to be given painkillers and sedatives. This one particularly….” he waved a wad of tablets at us and continued “is known to trigger and bring to the surface some long term memories”

“But what Tarun saw has parts which are not memories but some new events” I said.

“I understand” Dr Sharma replied, and continued, “It is quite usual during dreams for the brain to introduce unreal events, with actual episodes – which may be either in the recent past or the distant past. This is the result of various experiences and desires. This is quite complex but has been reasonably explained by medical science”

“So you think there is nothing to worry about?” asked Payal.

“Of course, not!” laughed Dr Sharma. “Tarun is a healthy man. He can now go home. There is absolutely nothing to worry”

We returned to the room relieved. “Mystery solved!” I declared to Tarun, Meera & Rishi and then repeated the conversation we had with Dr Sharma.

“Oh, Ok” said Tarun sighing.

“It is back to work from Monday, man!” I said smiling. If you had hoped to take a few more days off – forget it!”

I noticed Rishi still looked thoughtful as we left, and was unusually quiet.

“Hey, Good morning!” Shiv, my boss at Medusa Publications, greeted me on Monday morning at my desk. There is this book you need to review and send in your recommendation if we can publish. I read it briefly and have called the writer over since I found it to be very unusual, and wanted to discuss this in person before we make a decision. I need to go out for a meeting urgently though – so please do it. You can also ask Tarun to join in if you want. The writer is waiting at the reception”.

“Here is the draft”, he said handing me a sheaf of papers and walked away.

I stared at the title, gasped and then reached for the phone. Tarun, Meera and Rishi came to my room. I showed the title to them - “Focal Point” and the sub text below, read “Experiences with the universal consciousness”. Only Rishi seemed unmoved - he had obviously anticipated Tarun’s dream to have some relevance.

A few minutes after I had called the reception, Chitra walked in.

She looked at us, smiled and took a seat. She looked up at us and asked, “Have we met before?”

“You know we have! We will do our part!” I said smiling and continued, “We discussed your book – Focal Point and will recommend for it to be published. We request you to allow us to write a foreword….”

Right Turn

I am reproducing a short story I had written a few years ago and circulated to some friends over email. Those were not the days of blogging!


"What do you think? Will he do?" Ravi asked me.
"Yeah. I suppose so." I said
"But, he is quite rude!"
"Who isn’t these days?" Ravi asked.
"He is good at his work. He drives safely and is always on time."
"Ok." I said "No harm in trying him in any case.
I have asked him to start tomorrow."


I had been looking around for a driver at a reasonable rate after sadly coming to the conclusion that driving in Bombay was just not my cup of tea. An incident the previous week led to this decision. I slowed at a traffic signal as I saw the light switch to red. I felt a sudden harsh jolt. I turned back angrily and saw that another car had banged into mine.
In a trice the other driver reversed his car, pulled up beside me and yelled:
"Why do people like you drive? Did you inform people at home you would not be returning?" he snarled.
Stunned, I tried to gather my wits. Suddenly I realized the other driver had already sped away. The injustice of it struck me and a rage worked up in me. God, somebody bangs into me from the rear when the light is red and still proceeds to dump the blame on me. What is the world getting to ?! The realization slowly set in, that I would not find driving fun at all in this situation. I did not feel like getting behind the wheel after this.


My friend Ravi had sent a prospective driver around to me.
His name was Mohan and he apparently lived in some dwellings across the street almost opposite to where I stayed.
After informing him of my working hours, I asked him
"How much would you expect?"
"6000" he said immediately. I tried to bargain with him but he would not be swayed.
"It will have to be at 6000 or you can find someone else" he snapped.
"Ok" I sighed.
The next day, I stepped out of my house promptly at 7:30am. I saw with satisfaction that Mohan was already there standing beside the car. That was a good sign. I liked people who kept good time. On all subsequent days too, he gave me no cause for complaint. He was very particular about being on time and was always neatly dressed. He however continued to maintain a stone-faced countenance and was always gruff bordering on rudeness.


There were few occasions on which I did see flickers of some emotion. When we passed a college once I asked him suddenly "Have you been to college?"
"No" he replied.
"Did you pass 12th?" I asked next.
"I scored over 70%" he said quietly.
Surprised, I asked him "Then why didn’t you go to college?"
"Who had the money?" he snapped.
At this time it was becoming apparent to me that people like Mohan used rudeness as a shield or rather a weapon against what they perceived was life's unfairness.


A few weeks later I stepped out to find surprisingly that Mohan was not yet there. I paced up and down, quite irritated when it was 15 mins past my usual time. I suddenly saw him hurrying towards me.
When he reached me, I said with my irritation showing "You are late."
"Yes" he replied getting behind the wheel, offering nothing further.
I was irritated at not receiving any explanation for his coming late.  Recalling that he had never been late since he started work, I was also a little curious. I decided to find out.
"Had a late night drinking?" I sneered.
He turned towards me angrily "My daughter was ill."
"How is she now? You could have called to say you were not coming." I said softly.
He seemed a little surprised by the change in my tone.
"Its Ok. She will be alright." he said shortly.
While returning from work two days later, he said suddenly "Can I have 300 Rs.?"
I remembered his mentioning his daughter's illness two days back and asked him "For your daughter's medical treatment?"
"Yes." he replied.
I counted out 300 Rs and handed it to him. He looked a little troubled and handled the money thoughtfully. "I may need only 200 Rs." he said handing back 100 Rs to me.


"I see." I said receiving the money, understanding dawning on me that he had probably expected me to give him a lesser amount than what he had asked for.
"Actually..." he began hesitantly.
"Yes?" I said.
He continued slowly "My daughter still has fever. I am thinking of taking her to a better doctor."
I said, "There is a good doctor in the next building. I know him well. Bring your daughter and we will go."
"No, that's Ok." he said hurriedly.
"I am waiting at the entrance of the next building. Bring your daughter." I said starting to move towards the next building.
Seeing me make my move, he walked hurriedly across the street and was back with his two-year-old daughter in minutes. The doctor completed his diagnosis and mentioned she had contracted a virus but that it was nothing to worry about. He handed out a packet with a few tablets saying the fever should subside by the next day.


As we walked out Mohan still appeared pensive and troubled. To reassure him, I said, "You heard the doctor. Your daughter will be fine soon."


He turned to me and said gruffly "It is not that. You don't understand" and then added "Kindness can be difficult to take if you are not used to it or expecting it". For me, it was one turn I got right.