The Intersect

Shashank sat up in bed with a jerk. He reached for his phone to check the time, gently rubbing his eyes. It was only 2 am. The same images all over again. He turned and saw that his wife Sarita seemed to be sleeping soundly. He lay still for 20 more minutes, wondering what was going on with him. He finally gave up, walked gently across the floor and turned the internet router on. He reached for his iPad, balanced it on his lap and went to Google. He opened the page he was looking for in Wikipedia. At first sight, it did not seem alarming but there were no clear answers. He was just about to close the page on “recurring dreams”, when he heard a whisper “Shashank, may I know what is going on?”

Taken aback, he blurted “It can be handled”.

“What can be handled? What are you talking about?” demanded Sarita.

He sighed and then launched into the details of what had been happening since the last couple of months.

“I have been seeing very similar dreams of myself, you, our family and friends in various different settings since a couple of months now. Only I do not recognize any of the places.  The houses, cities, dresses all seem different” he said.

“The same dream again and again?” asked Sarita

“Well not exactly the same events. But mostly the same people in different settings, dressed differently…….”

“Are these dreams frightening?”

“Not really” he replied. “But I can’t understand what is going on”.

“It is the middle of the night. Leave this now”.

“Ok.., he replied. He looked up hallucinations on Wikipedia before putting the iPad away.

After tossing and turning for some time, he fell asleep. The next time he woke, he saw it was only 5:30 am. He had had one more dream of the same kind. Irritated, he woke up and walked over to the balcony. As he looked out, the city was still asleep. He wondered to himself ‘What is going on?’. After a few minutes Sarita joined him.

“Another dream sequence”, she asked.

“Yes” he nodded unhappily. “This time I saw Rishi in the dream as well”. Rishi was one of his office colleagues.

“Since we are up early, we might as well go out for a walk” suggested Sarita.

Shashank readily agreed. Thankfully it was a Saturday and he was not going in to work. It would have been difficult with hardly any sleep all night. They walked for around 45 minutes and returned. Shashank felt much better.

The dream sequences kept preying on Shashank’s mind, and he was restless. Sensing his mood, Sarita spoke to him “Why is this bothering you so much? After all it is only a dream”

“But why the same people? Also the dresses all of us are wearing and the places, buildings are all so different!”, Shashank exclaimed.

“Who all do you see in these dreams?”

“Well, mostly all of relatives. You, our children, sister, and parents, all of them” Shashank said.

“But they all look different you said?” Sarita asked.

Shashank hesitated, “It is difficult to explain. The places are different, dresses are different, and there are some weird looking vehicles. In today’s dream I saw myself shaking hands with an elephant!”

“Let us give it some time. Else we will go to somebody”

“It has been persisting for some time now”, Shashank admitted. “Also these thoughts and one or two flashes come up during the day as well”.

As Shashank scratched his head, a thought came to his mind ‘What can be the next step? It probably means visiting a doctor, but what kind. Psychiatrist, Psychologist? He was trying to think what the difference between the two was’.

It was a bad day. He tried to distract himself by doing some reading, but it helped only a little. As the sun set in the evening, he was apprehensive on what the night now held for him. However, probably as a result of poor sleep the previous night, he fell asleep very quickly. The next he knew someone was ringing the bell.

“Who can it be in the middle of the night?” Shashank muttered.

“It is not the middle of the night. It is 6:15 am” said Sarita.

“Which is like the middle of the night on a Sunday morning” he said and continued walking towards the front door.

He opened the door and found Rishi standing there smiling.

“Are you not ready?” he asked.

“Ready for what?” Shashank asked him puzzled.

“We were to go out for a jog. Don’t you remember?” Rishi asked.

“Come on in” he told Rishi. “Did I really say we can go out for a jog today?” Shashank asked.

“Of course, we discussed this last week, don’t you remember?” Rishi asked

“Hmmm….I really don’t remember. I guess I forgot”, Shashank said flopping down on the sofa.

Shashank thought ‘Nothing is going right. Now looks like my memory is going for a toss as well’

“You look quite unwell. What is the matter?” asked Rishi.

Shashank hesitated not sure what he should say. Sarita walked over beside him and whispered “Rishi is a friend. I think you can tell him about it…”

There was a period of quiet while Shashank thought over what to tell Rishi. Finally he thought Sarita was right. Rishi would keep it to himself, and he did have a gift for some out of the way thinking which might help in this case.

Shashank repeated the dream experiences to Rishi which he had told Sarita in detail only yesterday. Rishi’s curiosity was clearly aroused.

He said “So you see images of people in various different settings?”

Shashank replied “It is mostly relatives and people I know. Yes, different dresses, flying cars, taller trees, very clear water…..almost a dream version of Earth! Any idea what is going on?”

Rishi looked at him calmly and said thoughtfully “Let me put it this way - what you have experienced is not unique.”

“Oh, you mean you know others who have experienced something like this?!” Shashank exclaimed excitedly.

“Yes, I surely do” said Rishi.

“And what happened to them?” Shashank asked.

“What do you mean what happened to them?”

“Well, I mean to ask how they got themselves treated.” Shashank clarified.

Rishi sighed and spoke “They did not get themselves treated. They only understood the truth of what they were experiencing”

“What do you mean?” Shashank asked.

At this point Sarita looked at Rishi and spoke softly “Have you had dreams like this yourself, Rishi?”

Rishi looked at both of them and said “Yes, I have”.

Shashank stared at Rishi stunned. It took him a few moments to gather his thoughts.

He finally asked “What is this then?”

“Shashank, you need to find the truth for yourself”, said Rishi.

Shashank got up and started pacing the floor. This was too much to take, his head felt totally muddled.

Sarita asked Rishi “There is at least according to you, nothing abnormal in having an experience like this?”

“Of course, I said that already. I have had it myself and so have many others!”

“Is it a past life memory?” asked Sarita.

Rishi hesitated and then turned to Shashank slowly “What do you think?”

Shashank thought over this carefully and then spoke “It does not seem to be. Firstly civilization seems to be more advanced with air borne vehicles for normal people. Also there is the weird aspect of animals co-existing peacefully with humans”

“Hmmm, true. What do you think it could be then?” asked Rishi.

“It is as if all of us have somehow travelled to the future” Shashank exclaimed. “But that is not possible either”.

He tried to rake his brains further but came up with nothing. “The other alternative of course is that I am hallucinating” he said.

Sarita glared at him.

“Well, I have already told you are you not!” said Rishi.

“Rishi, I think my head will burst if I think of this further. You need to help me. What is this?” Shashank said.

Rishi hesitated and spoke “I really cannot. I can only say that you are experiencing what some of us call an Intersect, something which many others are experiencing as well. To find the truth my advice is to do this: 1) Remember Sherlock Holmes’ advice, when one has eliminated the impossible, what remains however improbable must be the truth. 2) Why don’t you try interacting consciously during your experience?”

“What do you mean?” Shashank asked puzzled. “How can I interact with a dream?!”

“Try”, he said “It might be possible. Start with the basics, ask names, places, things like that to whoever you see in your dream and see if you get any replies”

Rishi then stood up. He said “We will have to do our jog some other day I guess. If you have a recurrence let me know if you want me to come along to discuss”.

Shashank thought ‘What could Rishi mean when he asked me to interact with my dream? On the face of it the idea seemed ridiculous. But I did feel better after talking to him; especially that he too has experienced such dreams recently’.

Sarita followed his thought process and said “Take it one at a time. It is apparent there is nothing to worry now”

“I agree” Shashank said. After quite some time he felt strangely at peace and also curious and for the first time hoped that the dreams would recur soon.

A week went by very quietly. The next Saturday night, Shashank saw some flashes. Strangely he did realize that he was in the middle of a dream. He saw some faces. Himself and his wife Sarita seated in a garden among very tall trees. He mouthed the word “Hi” in his mind softly looking at himself and Sarita. As he looked at himself and his wife, he saw both of them smiling at him and saw his image speak up “Hi, we were wondering when you would greet us!”

This was puzzling. This was no dream. What state was he in?

He spoke “Why do you say that? Were you expecting me to speak?”

He saw himself speak “Of course, why else would we contact you?”

Puzzling. It was as if he was speaking to someone else, not himself!

He saw Sarita look up and say “We can understand you are confused. Firstly you are not seeing either yourself or your wife. We are different people though we carry your names. This is going to be difficult for you, so be patient and calm. We are identical manifestations of the same parent soul – which is why we look alike. In order that you not get confused further simply call us Sha & Sa”

Shashank stiffened. However, Rishi’s words came to his mind and he tried to relax.

Sa now spoke “Zim is the eternal soul from which we both come and hence we are alike. In due course you will understand about this. Be patient. We need to use these intersects to exchange thoughts and learn”

Shashank felt the vision now fade. He sat up in bed. He looked to his right and found Sarita stirring. He seemed to have disturbed her. She rubbed her eyes and looked up at him enquiringly. He told her what had happened.
She replied “I know. I experienced the same thing myself as well and actually saw you conversing. So these are not us but other people somewhere else, maybe even a different planet?! Astonishing! That was why Rishi said you must find the truth for yourself”

It was 5:30 am in the morning. They got up and had an early coffee. After an hour or so Shashank called Rishi and he came over in about half an hour.

“So, were you able to interact in your dream?” he asked.

“We were!” Shashank exclaimed.

“Oh” said Rishi “That is great. So, both of you have experienced it!”

Shashank asked Rishi “We could understand we are looking at some other people possibly somewhere else. But you still need to help us understand what this is”

Rishi spoke “You were interacting with people similar to you in another universe. You experienced what we have started referring to as an intersect. There are moments in time when our universes align themselves in a way which makes interaction between beings on both universes possible”

Shashank stared at Rishi trying to make sure he was not joking. “Another universe!” he gasped. He then asked him “But how can there be people who look identical to us in another universe?!”

“Why not?” countered Rishi. “All of us are the result of an initial physical process. No doubt free will gives you a choice of action. If you would have noticed, the universes are not identical. This other universe is not the same as ours. They are much more advanced which you yourself pointed out.”

There was a moment of quiet as Shashank and Sarita came to terms with what Rishi was saying.

Sarita asked “But why only now? And then there may be many more such universes. Will we be able to interact with all of them?”

“Well, nobody knows for sure. What we have understood is that these two universes are aligned only now in such a manner as to allow such intersects to happen. There is a lot more to learn and experience. I think this is only the beginning” replied Rishi.

They went and sat down in the garden, looking out into the glorious morning sky. Shashank thought in his mind ‘I will not in my life know all the truths of God’s creation, but I have learned a new truth today for sure. Is learning not the incremental knowledge of more and more truths? It was overwhelming’

As he turned, he could see that Sarita was moved as well.

He then turned to Rishi and asked him a question which had been preying on my mind “Rishi, as far I can recollect I never agreed to go for a jog last Sunday or am I wrong?”

Rishi hesitated for a split second and then replied “You are right”

“How then did you land up here?” Shashank asked.

“I had a visual experience in which both of us figured. I suspected you might have experienced this as well and hence called Sarita to check if you had an experience like that as well. I came over once she confirmed”

“Oh!” Shashank smiled looking at Sarita. “No wonder you encouraged me to tell Rishi everything!”

They held their hands together, basking in the glory of the multiverse – eager to learn more truths each new day.

The Dark Shadow

I felt a nudge and heard a whisper “Do not ask for a receipt, you need not pay the tax amount and will save money”, I turned to see Angra standing over the sales counter looking at me and smiling snidely.

I stared at Angra with shock, unable to speak. I then watched him turn and leave fast. My hands shivered as I paid the bill and left the shop.

I reached home and splashed my face with water. Were my mind and eyes playing tricks on me? Could it really be Angra?

I heard the door open. Chitra was back. As soon as she saw me, she exclaimed immediately “What happened? What is wrong?”

I debated on what to tell her. With a sigh, I realized there was little point in hiding anything from her. As I spoke, I realized that my voice was a little more than a whisper.

“Angra is back” I said.

Chitra’s hands flew to her mouth. She stared at me and spoke “But how…..”

“I know”, I replied confused “I killed him myself”.

“Are you sure it was….?” she asked.

“Yes, I am pretty sure it was him” I replied sadly. “I cannot explain it myself. It is shocking especially since I killed him myself last year”.

“I remember, it was Dussehra”, I continued, “I thought that was the last of Angra, but now he is back”.

“What will you do now?” asked Chitra holding my hand worriedly.

“I really don’t know. I am still not able to think straight yet” I said still in shock.

My mind raced to the events of last year.

Aug 2011

“Hmmm….You have a lot of luggage, Sir” said the clerk at the customs counter at the airport.

“Well it isn’t much...” I said surprised.

Angra caught my hand, and whispered to me “All he wants is some money. Just close the matter”.

 “No”, I whispered back fiercely.

“Here let me handle this”, said Angra pushing me aside.

Angra spoke up “It isn’t easy these days. Prices are going up all around. Everybody is finding it difficult to manage – especially salaried employees”

“Yes, yes” the customs clerk nodded fast.

“We have to find ways to move ahead and manage in life”, continued Angra shaking hands with the clerk and I saw him slip over some cash.

“You will have no problem, Sir. Nobody will stop you now. Just go over from there” the clerk gestured pointing his hand toward the walkway.

On the way back, I did not try to interact with Angra. Anger continued to boil inside me. He tried to make conversation with me and said “It was the best way under the circumstance. You don’t understand”

“I don’t think so.” I snapped angrily. We did not speak after that and reached home.

“I am getting to hate Angra”, I confessed to Chitra that night.

“Keep control of yourself” she said, concern showing on her face.

“I hope I can do that” I said, “but he is getting on my nerves”

Oct 2011

It was the day before Dussehra. I remember the day clearly because it was the day before I killed Angra.

I was taking a stroll outside the building with Angra. I had tried to dissuade Angra from joining me as I wanted some peace, but he would not listen. Just outside we saw a car come over at high speed and hit the divider. It then spun out of control and hit a lady on the sidewalk.

As I moved over towards the lady to see if she was hurt, Angra caught me and said “Are you sure you want to get involved? This will be a police case. It is best you stay out”.

“You can stay out if you want but I need to help her”, I snapped moving towards her.

Another bystander stood beside me. The lady was groaning, and we could see that she was bleeding from her forehead. We wrapped a handkerchief on her forehead. A car passing by stopped to help and we rushed her to a hospital. At the hospital, the injuries were declared to be minor. After some of her relatives came, we left from the hospital.

At night, I related the episode to Chitra. I said “If I had listened to him, I would not have been able to sleep”.

Chitra said “You are overreacting. Take a deep breath and compose yourself. Get hold of yourself. I am getting increasingly worried about you”.

I kept silent but my mind was in a turmoil. A plan formed in my mind – a way to end this conflict with Angra once and for all. What better day to execute this than on Dussehra. I lay awake for a long time, my mind being restless. I got up early and after a cup of coffee informed Chitra that I would be going out for a walk. It was still only 5:30 am. 

I walked down the street to the park where I often walked in the morning. As I entered the park, I heard a voice “What are you doing so early?”

I found myself face to face with Angra. I could feel my heart hammering away. I confronted Angra and spoke “There is something very important I need to do today. There is no better day to end this than on Dussehra”.

Angra glared back and said “You have always been a fool. It is I who have always stood by you in a world where might is right. You have never realized that, have you?”

It was almost as if he knew what I had in mind. I spoke coldly to him “You are wrong. I do not need you. And I have never wanted you by my side. By constantly following me and try to misguide me, you have brought this on yourself”

I looked around to see if anyone else was around, no one was. The last words I uttered before I killed Angra were “I choose virtue over might”.

I walked up and entered the house. I felt my whole body trembling and collapsed into the sofa in the living room. “What happened?” asked Chitra alarmed.

I looked her and said softly “I killed Angra”.

Chitra’s hands flew to her mouth and she gasped “But……”

“There was no other way”, I responded tiredly. “I will tell my parents as well, but don’t tell anyone else”, I said.

Chitra’s voice jolted me back to the present. I tried to concentrate and looked up at her. She said “I was saying let us go to the temple. It will help you compose yourself and find peace”.

We walked in silence to the temple. As I folded my hands in prayer, I did find peace returning to me.

We then went to beach. As we walked on the sands, in the distance I could see the sun setting. I found that the visit to the temple had helped in clearing up my thought process. As I looked into the distance, my mind raced -

The visual imagery I had indulged in last Dussehra to defeat my dark side had obviously not worked the way I had wanted it to. I thought a single savage blow was possible to end the inner conflict once and for all, but that was not to be. Angra is not a separate person. Angra is a part of me and represents the dark side of me. Even if the fight was internal, I had felt it vital to imagine the conflict and killing visually as I thought it would help to expel the dark side of me once and for all. 


Angra is my dark shadow – and you cannot kill your own shadow. The shadow can be dimmed by the confidence of virtue, but it would try to rear it’s ugly side time and again. The fight against your own dark self is a continuous one, and you need to take it one victory at a time. The fight within is bigger and probably more difficult than any other. 

It was almost as if Chitra read my thoughts as she spoke softly “All of us fight our dark shadow, but with self-belief it will never win over us”

“Yes, I know”, I said looking at her and smiling.

Scars

“So you say we discuss the matter today?” asked Koch nervously.

“Yes, unless you want to change your mind!” said Jite mischievously.

“Of course not!” replied Koch rubbing his hands.

After a few minutes of silence, Koch asked “Do your parents know that I am a Qal?”

Jite looked at him and exclaimed impatiently “Yes, they do. Do you think these things matter? My parents are broad minded and are going to be least bothered about this”.

“I suppose these things still matter” said Koch and then muttered under his breath “At one time it was all that mattered”.

Jite grasped his hands tightly and said fiercely “You know I can never marry anyone else”.

“Yes, I love you with all my life too” said Koch, sweeping his fingers over her hair.

“It is time to leave” said Jite “Dad would also be back from the travel agency as well.

They were at Jite’s house within the next 20 minutes. Jite’s parents, Tru Tet and Lola Tet greeted them warmly.

Tru put his hands on Koch’s shoulder and led him in.

“Please be seated” he said to Koch warmly. “Jite has been telling us all about you since quite some time. It is good to finally meet you”.

“My pleasure as well” said Koch politely.

“Son, will you have some tea?” asked Lola.

“No, I am fine” said Koch.

“Well, Mom. Koch drinks lots of tea. So please get him some” said Jite.

“Jite knows you very well already!” laughed Tru.

“Sir, are you generally home by this time every day?” enquired Koch.

“You may know that I attend to customers seeking foreign tours with our travel agency. Yes, I am home quite early always.  All for more time with family” said Tru winking at Lola & Jite.

“Ha, and what about all the years when you were constantly out of home?!” exclaimed Lola.

“Well, that was when Dad was in the armed forces” explained Jite. “He was constantly out of home and travelling”.

“Yes, it wasn’t easy” said Tru. “Also, we tend to forget today that there were troubled times around 15 years back and there a lot of stress then. You may not know much of it, Koch, since you would have been a small boy at that time”.

“Not know much of it….”, whispered Koch to himself slowly.

“What did you say Koch?”, asked Tru.

Koch came out of his thoughts suddenly and said “I was asking what you did in the armed forces, Sir”.

“I was in the air force. I am not sure if you know the mission in which the dreaded militant Xat was killed? I was part of that mission and also received an award from the government for the same” said Tru proudly. “See the trophy there” Tru pointed to the wall cabinet.

Koch stared at the trophy, his mind racing back to the events of that day 15 years back, which he could never forget.

On the Ground (Sarla Town)

“Mom, I hear the sound. I think the planes are here again today as well” cried Koch hugging his mother Rupe tightly.

“Nothing will happen, son. Don’t worry. We are here” said Koch’s father Trup sitting close to both Rupe & Koch.

There was a loud explosion several yards away, and Koch screamed in fear.

“He seems to be getting breathless again” said Rupe looking at Koch in concern.

“Yes, it is an asthmatic attack. Here, give him a puff from the inhaler”, said Trup, worry was writ large on his face as well.

Between gasps, Koch asked his father “Why do the planes come here again and again?”

“That is because there are some bad people nearby. Once they are gone, the planes will not come back again, son”, said Trup.

“Dad, let us go away from here. Somewhere far where these planes will not fire at us”, pleaded Koch.

“Where will we go, son? We have no money to settle somewhere else. Anyway, I am sure all this will end soon, don’t worry” said Trup.

At the sound of another explosion, Rupe stared and whispered to Trup “That was very close”.

Koch looked out the window and shouted “Dad, Mom – look there is a big fire there”.

“We are very far away, son. The fire is at a distance. It is showing up very brightly in the night”, said Rupe.

There were several loud explosions in quick succession. Koch watched in horror as the roof of their hutment collapsed, a beam hitting his Dad and Mom on the head. Koch fell unconscious, as the entire hutment collapsed over them.  He was among the few fortunate children to be moved to a home for orphans about 3 months after his parents died in what came to be referred to as the “Xat raid”.

In the Air (above Sarla town)

“Bingo!” exclaimed the pilot in joy clapping his partner’s hand in joy. “We got Xat!”

“Koch, where are you? What happened” said Jite shaking his shoulder.

Koch covered his face with his hands, his mind continuing to be tormented by images which would not go away.  He looked at Jite and said softly “I never knew your Dad was earlier in the armed forces”.

“What do you mean?” said Jite.

Nobody spoke for a few minutes and the air was filled with tension. Koch realized that Tru, Lola and Jite were all staring at him.

Koch took a deep breath and then spoke slowly “My parents and me lived in Sarla town till 15 years back. An air force plane dropped a bomb very close to our hutment and it collapsed on my parents killing them. This was the raid which also killed Xat. Everyone remembers it as the successful Xat raid, for me it was something which changed my life for ever”.

“Oh”, cried Jite, her hands covering her mouth.

Koch looked at Tru wearily and spoke “One of the planes in the Xat raid killed my parents”. He paused a moment and then said softly “It may have even been the plane you flew”.

It was a few minutes later than Tru spoke looking Koch in the eye “All of us returned from the Xat mission with the satisfaction that we had eliminated someone who had already been responsible for taking several innocent lives and would have done so in the future as well. I am not sure if the plane I flew actually dropped the bomb which led to your parents’ death. My conscience is clear though that any harm I have caused to any one is totally unintentional. If I was in any way responsible for your parents’ death, I am truly sorry”.

Koch’s voice was strained as he spoke “Sir, it is not that I want you to feel sorry. I don’t know how I can live with this though”.

Jite sat beside Koch and held his hand. She brushed away the tears welling up in the corner of Koch’s eyes and spoke “You know Dad would never have done anything to harm your parents intentionally. Can you trust his and my words for that?”

Koch replied “Yes, you are people of character. It does not take time to understand that”.

He walked over to the window and watched as the night grew dark. He then turned to Tru and Lola and asked “Did you know that I am a Qal?”

“Yes we did”, Tru and Lola replied together.

“I am here today to seek your daughter’s hand in marriage, Mr & Mrs Tet. After what you now know, will you accept me as your son-in-law?” asked Koch.

“Son, it is you who have every right to refuse. As for us, we would be most delighted to have you as part of our family”, said Tru.

Jite sighed in relief and hugged Koch tightly. Koch looked at her and spoke “I love you very much”.

At home later in the night, Koch held his parents photo in his hands, thoughts forming in his mind:-
“Dear Dad & Mom, I will be marrying Jite who I am very fond of. Her father flew one of the planes during the Xat raid. It is strange that today I feel less tormented by the events of that day, though I have actually come face to face with someone who may have been responsible for your death. When I looked at Tru’s eyes, I saw in them the same light of character, which you had taught me to recognize in the eyes of all good people. It is because of that, that I am still going ahead with my marriage with Jite. Bless me and stay with me as you have always done till date”.

Beyond the Sum of All Parts

Vikram turned as his wife Sonam grasped his hand slowly.

She whispered softly, “I am sure everything will be alright. Don't worry”

Vikram watched as the priests chanted the mantras. After an hour, the head priest spoke to Vikram & Sonam, “We have done the pujas for your daughter's well being. I am sure your daughter Sangeeta will be fine now”

“Thanks a lot” said Vikram as he bid farewell to the priests.

Vikram sat on a sofa, holding his five year old daughter tightly as his wife Sonam sat beside him. Sangeeta looked up at her parents and asked “Will I be well now?”

“Of course, Sangee.” said Sonam. “There is nothing wrong with you. We are only doing some pujas for the good of the family.”

“Ok. Will you show me to any more people?” asked Sangeeta. She bit her lip and said “We have seen so many people already. If there is nothing wrong with me, why are we seeing so many people?”

“That will be all, Sangee. Don't worry. No more doctors or anybody else. You are perfectly fine.” said Vikram.

Vikram recalled the first time he had seen his daughter have an attack. She had got up in the middle of the night shivering and mumbling something to herself. She was in a kind of trance, her eyes staring straight ahead and she seemed to not even realize the presence of either him or his wife in the room. It would take a few minutes to pacify her and several minutes before she would return to sleep. After she awakened in the morning, she would have no recollection of the events of the night. Vikram & Sonam had taken her to a few specialists. Though it was a case which could not be clearly explained, the opinion was that since she exhibited some form of speech impairment during such episodes, there may a need to treat her with anti psychotic drugs. However, considering her young age and the fact that such episodes were infrequent and harmless so far, they were advised patience before considering any line of treatment.

After about a month, Sonam nudged Vikram gently. Vikram rubbed his eyes and sat up. He saw Sangeeta sitting up on her bed and mumbling softly to herself. This episode seemed different though than the previous ones and she had held her hands together as if in prayer and was chanting something softly. Vikram and Sonam went and sat next to Sangeeta. Sonam held her close to herself. Sangeeta seemed not to even sense their presence. After about five minutes, Sangeeta lay down on her pillow and surprisingly was asleep immediately.

Sonam looked at Vikram in anguish “What is going on?”.

Vikram looked as disturbed “If only we could do something” he muttered.

After about a fortnight, Sangeeta seemed to have an attack again. As Sonam held her tightly, Vikram whispered to her “Can you make out what she is saying?”

Sonam bent forward, positioning herself close to Sangeeta's mouth. Sangeeta suddenly turned and picked up a piece of paper and her fingers moved furiously as she seemed to write something in a hurry. She then put the paper aside, and lay down on her bed still oblivious of the presence of her parents near her.

Sonam picked up the paper trying to understand what her daughter had written on it. Vikram too peered closely at it. “Seems to some kind of a scribble only” he said.

Sonam looked at him and spoke up “Does it not seem like Hindi?”

“What?!” Vikram exclaimed. “How is that possible? She has not been taught to write Hindi. In fact she cannot yet even write English sentences.”

“No really, look at it closely.” said Sonam still staring at the paper.

“You are just imagining things.” said Vikram dismissively.

Sonam looked at him and said “It seems to read सभी भागों का योग से परे (Sabee Bhagon ka Yog se Pare)”

“What did you say?!” Vikram said looking at her in shock.

“It seems to read सभी भागों का योग से परे (Sabee Bhagon ka Yog se Pare)." Sonam repeated. "What can that mean? And how could Sangee have written this?”

Vikram collapsed into a chair shaking his head from side to side and said softly “How is this possible?!”

“What are you talking about? What does this phrase mean? What is all this about?” Sonam exclaimed.

“Let us move to the living room.” said Vikram walking out of the bedroom slowly.

Vikram sat on the sofa, quiet for a few minutes. Sonam looked at him expectedly.

Vikram looked up “I cannot make sense of this myself.” he said, his hand on his head. “This phrase सभी भागों का योग से परे (Sabee Bhagon ka Yog se Pare) literally means Beyond the Sum of All Parts. This is the name of a prayer song composed by my grandmother long back. I remember when I was young, she used to say that chanting the song would give peace and strength. She insisted on all of us singing it together every morning. She explained the meaning of the song as an invocation to God who is greater than the sum of all the parts of the universe. I understand that the song was actually adopted as a morning prayer by a few people who were family friends.”

“But I have never heard it!” said Sonam

“Well” continued Vikram looking guilty “I stopped chanting it after I went away to college.”

“But then how can Sangee know about this?! And also how could she write it on a paper when she does not even know how to write.”

“I cannot explain it myself! Maybe either my parents or grandfather might have mentioned it to her when we visited them.”

Sonam said “But Sangee has never mentioned this to us before. Also if you watch her it is as if she is in a trance of some kind.”

“I know. I cannot explain this either.”

Sonam's hands moved to her mouth “Do you think Sangee...? But I cannot believe this..”

“Hang on.” said Vikram sharply. “There has to be some explanation for this. Let us visit our parents place tomorrow.”

“But your parents are away to the US”, exclaimed Sonam.

“Well my grandfather is there. Let us speak to him.”

The next morning Vikram, Sonam and Sangeeta went over to meet their grandfather in their village which was 80 kms away.

Once they reached, they sent Sangeeta away to the garden. They explained the entire sequence of events to Vikram's 85 year old grandfather.

Vikram then asked him “Grandpa, did either you or my parents speak about this prayer song to Sangee.”

His grandfather looking puzzled. “She is so young. How could she understand even we were to tell her?”

He then put his shoulder and said to Vikram “There is nothing to worry. It is all for the good. You should all start chanting the prayer every morning. Do you remember how your grandmother had made chanting it a part of our everyday routine?”

“Yes, I know”, said Vikram, looking guilty again.

Sonam spoke up “Can you tell me more about this prayer song and how grandma composed it?”

“Well, it all happened very quickly.” said grandfather speaking slowly “I found Vikram's grandma Gayatri up late one night sitting on the floor with her eyes closed. I asked her if she was feeling unwell. She simply shook her head and started writing in a small notebook bound with string. She wrote all the 16 lines very quickly. Only when she was done she spoke to me and told me that the words for the prayer were forming in her mind and she wanted to write it immediately before she would forget.

She started chanting it from the next day onwards and I joined her. We both used to feel at peace after we chanted. She told other friends and neighbours about it and encouraged them to join us. It was unusual for women to lead such activities in those days and some hesitated. However, close friends did join us and soon a small group was formed. Gayatri explained the meaning of the key phrase of the song सभी भागों का योग से परे (Sabee Bhagon ka Yog se Pare) as the need for each person to look beyond the visible and the known to understand God who is manifested in but beyond and greater than the sum of all parts of the universe. She used to say that there were many truths in life each of which are not readily apparent but need to be visualized and understood. This is similar to our needing to understand what eclipses are even if we have not seen one, earth's rotation around the sun though we don't feel it. She used to say that the pursuit of truth was ultimately the aim in life. She was also a great supporter of science since it was also a search for truth and in fact encouraged Vikram to take up science.”

We as a small group used to discuss many aspects of life and religion together and she used to lead the way. “

Grandpa paused to drink some water and then continued “Think of this as a message from grandma. Her blessings are with us again. It is important you resume your daily prayer routine at the earliest”.

“We will certainly do that”, said Sonam.

“Ok let me get our little princess back from the garden” said Grandpa “You should leave shortly after having some tea so that you can reach before it is dark.

Grandpa walked over into the garden where Sangeeta was playing with a ball. She looked up and smiled at him. Grandpa hugged her and whispered “It will be our secret!”. Though the girl's act did worry him, he was happy that the family tradition would be revived. He still remembered the time when Sangeeta had stayed over with him and Vikram's parents for a month. He had chanted the prayer song and explained the meaning to her telling her to memorize it and say it every morning when she grew up and encourage her parents to do the same. He was surprised at how the girl had been able to write in Hindi though just by looking the text he had shown her. But kids learn very fast.

In Sangeeta's hand was a plate and she was drumming a tune by tapping on it. Vikram's grandfather looked at Sangeeta open mouthed. He was the only one who had heard this tune 40 years back from his wife Gayatri of a new song she had started to compose but never completed.

The Lost Names

"Time to get up. We need to leave shortly" said Shobha, hovering over Vikram.

"Today is a Sunday", Vikram said. "Where do we need to go?".

"I told you already yesterday", Shobha said irritatedly. "Shows you have not been listening again! Let me see if you can recollect where we are to go today".

Vikram racked his brains, trying to recall what had been discussed yesterday. Unable to recall anything, he tried what he thought was a safe guess "Shopping?" he suggested.

"For once no!" she said. "Don't you remember we are to go this NGO Children First".

"Oh, Ok" Vikram said. "Are you still sure we should go? It is very hot today and we need to travel close to 30 km".

"Of course. I am very keen to go" said Shobha.

"Ok" Vikram said fighting lethargy and getting up from bed.

Vikram & Shobha had contributed some money to the NGO Children First last year and they had invited them to their facility to see how the contributions they had made were put to use.

They got ready in a little while and made their way to Children First. They were received warmly by Ms Ruchika. There were in total 12 people who were visiting that day. Ruchika made a presentation on the various activities of the organization. She explained that they contributed to the education of children who were from poor families, and also ran an orphanage themselves. The presentation was followed by a Question & Answer session. Vikram & Shobha were then taken on a tour of the facility including the orphanage. Ruchika explained that the funds contributed by them was earmarked for the children. The children were told who had sponsored their education over the past year and were expecting them. They were then allowed to spend an hour with the children they had sponsored.  They were informed that their contribution specifically was used for a girl named Radha.

They were led to a room in the orphanage to meet Radha. She greeted them politely and asked them to sit. They asked her about her studies, and her hobbies.

"Well, I like physics. I generally like sketching in my free time", she said.

"Oh, great. Can we see some of your sketches?" asked Shobha

She handed over a book to them and they opened it. The book had what seemed like running notes and no sketches.

"This is not a sketch book. What book is this?" Vikram asked, glancing at some of the notes written.

"Oh, sorry" said Radha "Wrong book, Wait.." she said searching for her sketch book.

As he read through some of the notes in the book, Vikram’s curiousity was aroused. "Is this a diary you maintain?" he asked her, showing Shobha some of the notes.

The girl seemed suddenly uncomfortable. She handed over another book to them saying "This is my sketch book"

"Is this a diary you maintain?" Vikram asked her again.

She replied hesitantly "That is a book of some lost names".

"What do you mean?", Vikram asked her, not fully comprehending what she meant.

"This book is a record of my memories......", Radha said, her voice catching.

Shobha called her over and held her hand and said "What is it? Why don't you tell us?"

"I am not sure....", said Radha.

Shobha patted her on her shoulder and said "C'mon, you can surely trust us. What is this about?"

"Well it is a long story", said Radha, "and I am sure you are busy people"

"Well, we have lot of time, so don't worry" Vikram said.

Radha started on her narrative. "I stayed with my parents in a village near Nagapattinam. My father was a teacher in the village school. My mother used to sew clothes. It was not easy to make ends meet but we used to manage. My father had a lot of respect in our village. Everyone used to greet him with courtesy.

His ambition was to see some of his students being successful in life. Whenever, he travelled outside our village, he used to look for books which were not available in our village, buy them at his expense and distribute them among his students. I remember once one of his students moved out of our village to a bigger city. He wrote my father a letter saying that though he was now in a bigger school and a bigger city, he did not have any teacher who personally cared for his progress and explained things to him like my father had done. I still remember, my father had tears in his eyes and said that the respect and love his students showered on him was the best thing about his job.

My father worked late into the evenings, making notes for the next day, reading new books everyday. He used to call my mother and me to read, and pray with him. My mother liked listening to classical music on the radio. She also knew what my father's interests were and was ever by my father's side"

Radha paused at this point, biting her lips, her voice catching. As they looked at her gently, she continued "Life was so good. My father used to say that I would be a scientist. One day changed everything".

She continued after taking a deep breath "I still remember the day the tsunami hit our village. I recall looking up and seeing a wave the height of palm tree just a little distance away. There was suddenly water everywhere and the water simply dragged us with it. Our house was totally washed away, and that is the last I saw of my parents. I remember being dragged along the water and lost consciousness at some point. Some people apparently found me lying atop some debris, and pulled me out when they knew I was alive".

Vikram & Shobha sat watching her young face, while she relived the pain of the past. There was a small period of silence when nobody spoke.

"We are sorry for what you have been through", said Shobha gently.

Radha spoke up softly, "The bodies of my parents were found the next day. I spent a couple of months in a shelter. It was after that I moved to this orphanage and  I am very grateful for what these people have done for me. I do not even have a photo of my parents as our entire house and all our belongings were washed away and nothing could be traced. My father and mother were two good people who were so selfless, and did such a lot for others. But it is as if they are two lost names. There is no trace of their lives left. Nobody knows about them and how they lived. I think I am the only person who have memories of their lives".

She looked up at Vikram & Shobha, and continued, "I started noting all I remembered of their lives and started writing it in this book. They may be names which are lost, but I need something to remember them by. I was only 6 years old, when I lost my parents. Over time memories will also dim, and before that happens, I wanted to write what I remembered about them. As part of our history lessons, we read several pages of many known names in history. My parents can obviously not be one of those names, but at the same time I owe it to them to remember them for what they were".

Vikram & Shobha sat quietly thinking over all Radha had said. The maturity of her thoughts, and the essence of what she had said. Above all, they reflected on her comment on history.  A stream of mental chatter started in their minds: History by its nature was a record of two ends of a pole – Heroes and Villians, Winners and Losers, Achievers and Failures.......Is the wisdom of the ages really captured in history? Of all the shades of colors, was history only recording black & white? Do all life forms and objects which have existed in this universe deserve atleast a mention in history's records? They thought of all the lost names in their own families – the wisdom of generations of noble people lost, with no record of their existence since they were not at the two ends of the pole but rather somewhere in between. If we can reserve pages upon pages of records for tyrants, can not a line of history be reserved for everyone who has been a part of this universe. But then who was the custodian of the records of the universe? The records we have access to today in the form of books, and other artifacts are those created by scores of people over a long period of time. This shared responsibility of recording and preserving history made the situation even more complex.

Shobha took Radha's hand and said "Your parents are surely watching you and are very proud of you. You are very intelligent and mature for a girl of your age. We are very happy we could meet you".

Vikram also shook hands with the girl and asked her "Is it Ok if we come around and meet you again sometime?"

"Of course", said Radha surprised. "I would like that very much. You would have to inform Ruchika Madam in advance"

As they travelled back home, both Shobha and Vikram were lost in our thoughts. Vikram tried to move to other things – tried reading a book, and then watching some TV. Yet, the events of the day were fresh in his mind and the mental chatter would not cease.

After dinner, Shobha asked "You cannot also stop thinking about what we heard today, can you?"

Vikram admitted "Her account was moving enough. It also provoked me to think".

Shobha said, "Right since the time we left Children First, I have been thinking of whether there is something more we can do for the girl, especially, her pain with regard to her parents, but cannot think of anything good".

"Yes", Vikram agreed. "The essence of most people's lives is almost always lost, and I cannot think of what we can do to alter that fact".

"Right, But, can we do something for Radha? Maybe convert her notebook into a neater document which we can print and give her?"

"Yes, maybe we can do that. Let us discuss it in more detail tomorrow", Vikram said.

They went to sleep, feeling better for having talked it over with each other.

They picked up the conversation again the next day. Vikram had spent some time thinking over this during the course of the day, and Shobha had clearly done the same as well.

Vikram said, "I thought over the options we have and could think of the options being a) Printing out a neat version of Radha's notebook as you suggested yesterday b) We could setup and maintain a blog for her which hopefully in future she can maintain herself"

Shobha said, "Yes, other than that the other options I could think of being contributing an article for a magazine or newspaper"

Vikram thought over this and said, "That would be good, but I am not sure if any editor or publisher would be interested in the life history of one girl".

"You are right", said Shobha "Maybe we could try making it an article to be published on the anniversary of the Tsunami"

Vikram thought over this and said "Good idea, let us give it a try"

Shobha went over to the orphanage a few more times, and collected as many details as possible from Radha on the Tsunami, and the details of people she knew who were affected. She told her vaguely that we were writing this as an account, which she could preserve.

They subsequently tried contacting a few newspapers. After some persuasion, one editor agreed to meet them personally. At their meeting, he listened to them patiently and said matter of factly "I fully appreciate what you are trying to do. But it has been a few years since the tsunami struck. We will probably carry a small article on the occassion – I doubt we can accomodate the details you want to include in this article". They had to admit that in practical terms, he was right. They thanked him for meeting them and left.

As they returned home, Shobha asked Vikram "Do you think we could make this a book? We have collected a lot of information of the tsunami and also the people affected".

Vikram said, "But again, will any publisher be interested in this. It has been some time since the tsunami".

"We can only try. Probably the last try we could make" said Shobha.

Vikram had to agree with her. They spent some time writing up the various details collected into a book format. They then contacted several potential publishers. However, after a couple of months, they had still not found anyone ready to publish. As they were planning to give up, Shobha contacted a publisher of study guides "Zoom Ahead Publishers" asking him if he would be willing to publish the book.

When they met him, he spoke up frankly "See, I have never published books before. Also from what you tell me, the interest for a story such as yours may not be widespread. So, I feel spending money on advertising will also be risky. What I can do for you is this – I can do a trial run of 100 copies for you which we can retail at two bookstores I know. I cannot pay you upfront for this, but am agreeable for a % royalty for every copy of the book which is sold. Let us hope I need to print more copies and your book sells".

Vikram & Shobha agreed as commercial success was not the intention behind publishing this book. After about a month the book was on display at two stores. In the first three days only 17 copies of the book had been sold and there was nothing to show that sales would pick up.

Vikram sat on the sofa, quite dejected at the poor sale of the book.

Shobha looked up at him and said "Look, we never intended this as a business venture. The book was not even advertised. So why are you taking this so hard? Also, after a few copies sell, the publisher may be willing to invest in advertising. So sales may still pick up. However, as I said we were never looking at making profits".

"I suppose you are right", Vikram said.

"We should go and meet Radha, and show the book to her" said Shobha.

"Of course", Vikram said, feeling guilty that it not struck his mind so far.

They travelled to Children First and met Radha. Shobha handed over the book to her. She sat down and skipped through the pages silently. She then hugged both of them, tears in her eyes. She then ran out of her room and returned, dragging Ms Ruchika with her.

Radha exclaimed with joy "You must read this......"

As Vikram looked at Shobha, he realised she was having as much trouble masking her emotions as he did.

As they were returning home, Shobha looked at Vikram and said "You know something. I always knew we were not going to be famous or rich! So it does not matter how many copies sell!". She threw her head back and laughed, tears gentling rolling down her cheeks. As Vikram joined her in laughter, he noticed his face was wet too.